Motherhood

I must confess, this was a twist I didn't anticipate, but it's one I wouldn't alter for anything.

I vividly recall sitting in the living room with my mom, watching 9-1-1 and enjoying a glass of wine after work. That entire week, I noticed my boobs were very tender, but naturally, I assumed it was because my period was finally arriving. I say this because with having PCOS, my cycle is unpredictable, and tracking ovulation is difficult. Fortunately, I recently discovered that by consistently working out, eating healthy, and taking my supplements, my cycle becomes regular.

Anyway, I got sidetracked. I was complaining about my boobs hurting, and my mom said I better not be pregnant. I laughed and said, no, I think my period is coming.

In the back of my mind, I sensed something was wrong though because my boobs had never hurt like that before. I remembered I had two pregnancy tests left, so before my husband Rori and I went to bed, I took a test while we brushed our teeth. I wasn't expecting anything at all! My husband said, "Babe, there's a faint second line here," and my eyes widened quickly as I said, "Huh???"

I glanced at it and then at him, thinking, oh my gosh.

We both had a look of disbelief and amazement, like "really?" and "holy crap, lol." We were both thinking about the timing, like "ahhh, we're not where we want to be financially," etc. We all know that our timing and plans never actually align with God's, right? At the same time, we couldn't believe we were going to be parents!

We decided to make sure and retest with the digital one in the morning. Ofc me being me was barely able to sleep knowing I could possibly be pregnant.

So at 5:00 am I retested and there it was pregnant !! I jumped in the bed and was like you’re going to be a daddy, and he was like really your kidding. Showed him the test and was like well alright then. We both laid there scared and happy at the same time, not knowing what to expect and yet so very happy at the blessing we were given.

Motherhood is an experience that cannot be fully taught or learned from books or role models. It’s only when you’re in the thick of it that you truly understand and internalize the lessons.

The moment I discovered my pregnancy, my perspective on various aspects of life began to shift dramatically. Once my daughter arrived, everything changed! I transformed. I became more nurturing, humble, protective, and aware. I embraced the qualities of the Godly woman I aspired to be, and most importantly, I developed an incredible sense of patience.

Every day is unique, and with each passing day, I gain more insights into myself and my daughter. I’ve realized that the woman I was before becoming a mother is long gone, but in reality, I wouldn’t want to revert to that person. While the level of patience required is beyond my comprehension, children truly have their own pace, and it’s crucial to embrace and go with the flow.

I firmly believe that having a strong support system, such as a mama village, is of utmost importance for maintaining mental well-being. I discovered my village while residing in Georgia. Let me tell you, the ability to text my friends at any time, whether it’s 1:00 am or whenever I needed to vent or seek support, proved invaluable during those postpartum days. You don’t truly understand your needs until you’re in the midst of them.

Sometimes, I found solace in those solitary moments to cry it out when overwhelmed, while other times, I sought comfort from my husband, or my ladies. In all these instances, I realized that what I needed most was God’s guidance and strength.

Motherhood has brought me even closer to God, aligning perfectly with my desires for this new phase of life and as an individual. Every decision I make is guided by Him, for I cannot accomplish this without His strength and wisdom. I feel a sense of accomplishment because my daughter’s favorite song is “Praise” by Elevation Worship ft Brandon Lake.

It’s important to acknowledge that I don’t always have it together. There have been days when I’ve felt overwhelmed and internalized my struggles, fearing that I might be a burden to my family. However, I’ve learned that seeking support from my loved ones is crucial. Lean on your friends, church, God, and your spouse. I understand that this may be easier said than done, but it truly makes a significant difference in my life.

Fast forward, because that’s exactly what time has just zoomed past, and somehow, I almost have a two-year-old! Make sense?

Every day, I look at her and am in awe of who she is becoming and how much she has grown in the past couple of years. It’s both sad and exciting at the same time. I wish I could go back to contact naps, our newborn bubble, or even when she liked me helping more. Now, we’ve entered an independent stage where she wants to do everything herself. Let’s not even start on the talking that’s happening; I’m just like, “Who are you?” and “Where did my baby go?”

This is, by far, one of the most rewarding parts of life at the moment, and being her mom is literally a dream come true. She tests me, teaches me, and makes me realize the importance of being present in every moment. On a more recent note, we began potty training a couple of weeks ago, and she once again astounded me with her remarkable ability to grasp new concepts quickly. Perhaps she noticed that I was losing my sanity due to the frequent accidents in the house. Regardless, we managed to do it before she turns two, which is a testament to the Lord’s blessings. I hope this post was informative for you, and I look forward to sharing more insights with you on the next blog.. until next time !!