Our First Hello

As women, we hear a lot about what labor is supposed to feel like. In truth, the experience varies for each woman. I'm here to share my story and how it was for me. I understand it's challenging to read others' stories when yours didn't unfold as you expected. However, our plans were never meant to prevail, only His!

June 18~

I had recently developed an obsession with watching home births, unsure if it was because I wanted to mentally prepare myself for the possibilities of how things might unfold. While waiting for my husband to return from work, I decided to watch some home births in the meantime. My mom and I watched a few, and then something shifted. Before this, I often wondered what contractions would feel like and how I would distinguish them from Braxton Hicks. Even though I hadn't experienced many Braxton Hicks during my pregnancy, I was once again uncertain about what to expect.

Suddenly, I thought, hmm, I need to stand up. Then I realized, oooo, that feels different. I found I couldn't sit back down on the couch because it was no longer comfortable. So, I grabbed the trusty birth ball and began doing some exercises to ease whatever was going on. Unbeknownst to me, this was my brief window of early labor. I texted my husband, saying I was feeling a lot of pressure and that something was different. Fortunately, he was about to finish work, and this was around 10:00 pm.

He arrived home at approximately 10:40. I had already gone to the bedroom because I was feeling tired and wanted to rest in case I went into labor.

He arrived home, and we engaged in our usual pillow talk before falling asleep.

Join us on a journey to a day that transformed our household forever 💕!

June 19~

Around midnight, a contraction startled me awake, and I had to catch my breath. I thought, wow! I tried to return to sleep, but another contraction hit just 5 minutes later. These contractions didn't resemble period cramps; they were just intense pressure.

I woke up my husband and said, "Babe, I think I'm in labor." Half asleep, he asked, "Do you need to take a bath? Are we before 5 cm?" I replied that I thought I would take one to slow things down and try to get some rest.

I was unaware that I was already in active labor. I got into the tub, and the baby was kicking intensely. I began talking to our baby and rubbing my belly, since we didn't know the gender at that time. The water made the pressure more bearable at this stage.At this moment, I realized I was in labor, although I wasn't sure which stage I was in. I felt a mix of emotions: nervousness, fear, sadness, and happiness. I was nervous about how I would manage labor, scared that if the pressure intensified and I couldn't rest, the day might become unpredictable. I felt sad knowing that soon I wouldn't be pregnant and feel life inside me anymore. Yet, I was happy because we would soon meet our precious baby. I stayed in the tub for about an hour, then got out and immediately had to pee. When I looked down, I saw my mucus plug. I thought, "Oh my word," and took a picture to send to my doula (Dr. Adriana) and midwife (Debbie).

You might assume that as a doula, I would be calm and know exactly what to do. However, I was totally in mom mode, and no one was responding fast enough for me. So, I called my midwife and said, "I lost my mucus plug and have been experiencing contractions every 4-5 minutes, each lasting about a minute, for over an hour." By then, my contraction app had already advised me to head to the hospital a few times.

However, there were gaps between some contractions, so she advised me to rest as much as possible. My doula gave me the same advice.

I gave it a shot, and believe me, I really tried! I got into bed, and while the bath provided relief for about 30 minutes, just as I was about to fall into a deep sleep, a contraction jolted me awake. At that moment, I realized it was going to be a long night.

So I lay there, dozing off for 4-5 minutes, taking deep breaths, and clutching my pregnancy pillow tightly.

After a while, I thought, alright Rori, it’s time to wake up and call someone. So, he called my doula, and once again I was advised to try and rest. When morning comes, I should try to take a walk to see if that slows things down. I felt like no one believed I was in active labor, but as a doula, I understood they were looking out for my best interest and truly wanted me to get rest for the marathon ahead.

The only issue was that I couldn't; I ignored it until I couldn't anymore, and I couldn't sleep.

I spent some time on the pregnancy ball until sunrise, then Rori and I went for a walk. After about four contractions, I thought, that's enough, let's call in the cavalry.

My doula arrived first at around 8:00 am, accompanied by my dear friend who captured photos of our amazing day.

Debbie sent her student midwife (Toniann) around 9:00 am, and by then, I was 5cm dilated when she checked me. Just 5 more to go, right?.

The in between~

I loved my doula and highly recommend everyone have one! Game Changer!! I found that most positions weren't comfortable for me, except for squatting, which was the best. Ironically, the position that felt most comfortable was the one I spent the least time in for actual progression. Squatting definitely aids in labor progression, but eventually, other positions helped my cervix dilate more.

We began in the living room with me doing lunges onto my birth ball, leaning over it, and engaging in light conversations. At this stage, I could talk between contractions but needed to pause during them to focus on breathing.

I desired some private time with my husband, so we went into the bedroom and tried the side-lying position with a pillow between my legs. In hindsight, I wasn't fond of this position, although it eventually helped clear the remainder of my cervical lip. I was feeling nauseous at this stage, but fortunately, I didn't vomit. My doula and husband ensured that I stayed hydrated and ate.

During this period, my husband was fully immersed in cooking! I had been very specific about my post-birth meal, which was oxtails with rice and peas :). So, he was on a mission to deliver, meaning he was frequently in and out of the room. Initially, this was fine with me as long as he returned for support whenever I called or needed him. My mom was busy gathering the ingredients Rori needed for all the food, and once she finally returned, she even managed to connect my best friend, who couldn't be there for the birth, via FaceTime.

Being surrounded by so many amazing women and my strong, loving husband was wonderful! I truly believe that being in my own home made a significant difference in how I managed everything. I honestly expected to be more intense than I was, but I’ve been told I remained very calm and handled each contraction well. I can't remember much, so this story comes from pictures and the bits I can recall from that day haha.

Alright, back on track, we engaged in various positions like hands on knees, standing, squatting, and sitting. The three positions I remember being the most painful, which indicated they were working as intended, were the dilation station (toilet), side lying with a pillow between my legs, and lying on the bed with my feet dangling (the worst!). I had to endure 5 contractions in each position, and let me tell you, it's not for the faint-hearted. We started going up and down the stairs, and in hindsight, I thought this was tough, but looking back, being able to lunge into the pressure was very helpful. My midwife arrived around 1:00 pm and at some point I recall being asked if I wanted to get into the pool, but all I could concentrate on was the next contraction and where Rori was, who was just in the kitchen cooking a pot full of love!

After some time, we entered the room, and my doula lifted my belly from behind a couple of times during contractions. Suddenly, there was a loud POP! It sounded so much like a bone cracking that we all thought it was one. Then I looked down and realized my water had broken. This occurred around 4:00 pm, and by then, I was exhausted and relying on sheer determination. I wanted to get into the pool because it was the only place where I could truly relax. I would actually pass out between contractions, and during them, I could see by the expressions on my midwife and her students' faces that they were considering a possible transfer. I wished I could have verbally communicated, "Stop worrying, I can do this; I just need to sleep," but with the baby on the way, there was no more time for rest. I remember my mom coming in and out, Amber occasionally, Debbie and Toniann once in a while, and my husband whenever he could between cooking. My doula and my husband took shifts, and looking back, it was a well-balanced effort. I truly had a fantastic team!

Water Broke

At this moment, I was struggling to resist the urge to sleep, even though my body craved it. However, I was certain that I did not want to go to the hospital! My doula must have sensed this because she soon came in with an energizing drink. I think it was pineapple and coconut water, and suddenly, I felt a surge of energy.

During the day, they monitored the baby's heart rate using a Doppler. As far as I recall, I underwent three cervical checks: the first when Toniann arrived early in the morning, the second halfway through the day, and the final one an hour or two before I felt the urge to push.

We unanimously decided to exit the pool, and it was here that the final cervical check was conducted, revealing that I had a small amount of cervix left to clear. This led to the wonderful side-lying position that I loved so much.

Immediately, I felt the pressure returning continuously, and at this moment, I think it was honestly the only time I felt very strong emotions towards my husband when he told me I needed to go stir the food. I firmly said, "Absolutely not," and my doula reassured me, saying, "Don't worry, I turned it off anyway." I sensed something was changing—I could feel the baby descending, and then it happened. It was the sensation we learned about in Bradley class, everything I had heard and seen in those homebirths. The undeniable urge to push!

At that moment, I had my husband in a headlock, pulling him close to me. My doula was holding one of my legs while the other was stretched out. Toniann noticed I started to bear down, and before I knew it, Debbie was in the room faster than I could blink, followed by my mom and Amber. I recall Debbie saying it sounded like I was bearing down. They both asked if I felt the urge to push, and without saying a word, the next contraction arrived, and I was pushing!

Poor Rori, his neck bore the brunt of it! This moment truly makes you surrender. I vividly remember feeling like I couldn't do this anymore and crying to Rori. I can't imagine how he felt seeing me in such a state where he couldn't help. As tears rolled down both our faces and I began to squeeze him again as the next contraction approached, everyone kept saying, "You are already doing it, you CAN DO THIS!" But let me tell you, no, I couldn't—at least that's how it felt mentally. One of my groans got too high, and I heard Rori gently say, "That was too high, babe, go deeper and lower." I adjusted my tone for the next one, and it must have helped because I felt a burning sensation and also like my baby was coming out of the wrong place. This was it... Crowning... the ring of fire... and Lord knows, that's what it felt like. A couple of pushes, my doula bringing my leg back towards me while I was squeezing Rori, and the head was out.

People kept telling me to feel my baby's head, and I vaguely heard my midwife mention that I could guide my own baby out. Honestly, I couldn't tell where any of my limbs were to feel or guide anything; all I knew was that I felt the baby moving down. Suddenly, I must have taken too long of a pause after the baby's head emerged, because my midwife said we needed to get the rest of the baby out. Then, I felt an overwhelming urge to push, and with all my strength, I bore down. As the baby came out, I experienced the fetal ejection reflex, and it was such a relief.

It's true that once the baby arrives, the pressure you felt and everything in between fades away! My mom had the task of announcing the baby's gender... As the baby was immediately placed on my chest for skin-to-skin contact, we heard her say, "It's a girl!" Ahhhh, my husband guessed correctly, even though I had a dream it would be a girl, I guessed boy just in case I was wrong. We were overjoyed and on such a high! She let out her first cry, and I couldn't stop staring at her—what a beautiful little person we created! 7 lb 10 oz and 20 inches of pure love born at 9:03 pm.

A few minutes later, the placenta was expelled naturally, and with the aid of breastfeeding, the uterus started to contract back to its original size, eventually healing on its own over time.

As time went by, we succeeded in getting a latch, despite my daughter initially being a lazy feeder and not fully opening her mouth. One year later, she's still going strong and has become an expert at signaling when she wants milk.

After taking my first shower and enjoying a delightful meal, I spent some bonding time with our lovely daughter. Daddy also had some skin-to-skin contact and swaddled her for the first time. As the night concluded, everyone left after savoring some delicious Jamaican food. It was just me, my husband, Gigi, and our precious new family member, Adahlia.

My husband joked about having a second baby, and I laughed, saying it was too soon, but I would definitely go through it all again! As women, we're built for this, and regardless of how your birth experience unfolds, remember that with strength from the Lord and total surrender, anything is possible! And, of course, having a great team helps :) That was a fun story to share, and I hope you enjoyed it, shed a few tears, and smiled. Until next time...