Here & Now: Walking by Faith Through This Season

I don't believe we were genuinely ready for the mental strain it would impose on us, the physical burden it would entail, or the spiritual challenge of facing each day. The emotional ups and downs of basic training for the army are significant! I think it's time to quickly shift to the present while everything is fresh and as it is.

Saying this has been difficult feels like an understatement to me. Even before the day arrived for us to drop my husband off at the hotel, I was dreading every moment leading up to the end of our family vacation the week of his departure.

I actually told him it felt like I was losing my best friend, the person I talk to every day, my source of calm, my person. And, to say the least, I was right. Yes, this will all just be a small blip in our story someday, but right now it feels like an eternity. I've never experienced time moving so quickly yet seeming so slow at the same time.

I honestly believe that the lack of communication is why I feel like everything is closing in. It's as if you write numerous letters and receive few in return because of the time it takes. Then, you don't want to waste the little time you have every Sunday repeating what you said in letters or processing new information.

You could have the best support system and still feel quite alone when it's not your person. Having a little reminder of him every day in our daughter makes my heart ache, yet it also brings warmth to see so much of him in her.

We recently discovered where he will be stationed, and it's honestly a bittersweet moment. While I'm eager to leave Georgia and, most importantly, be reunited with my husband, we are also leaving behind an incredible support system, friends, church family, all the resources we've built, and my newfound family in the doula community. To add to the challenge, my husband won't be able to come home to help us with the transition. Even though everything feels overwhelming right now, it's just a moment that will pass soon enough.

Prayer and raising our wonderful daughter have been my saving grace, along with writing these blogs and preparing to launch something very dear to me in the near future.

However, I needed to take a moment to be completely transparent about where I am in this season. It's challenging, it's breaking, building, and re-breaking all at once, it's testing, but it is his will, I am putting all my trust in him because he indeed gives us more than we can handle on our own. We cannot rely solely on our own strength to overcome challenges, but we can always recall Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.". This is often easier said than felt.

On a lighter note, my man has completed basic training and is officially a Soldier! I'm so proud of him and the steps he's taken to provide for and protect his family. Plus, there are only 5 more weeks until we're reunited. I've been counting down, and it feels like just yesterday I started writing this post. Over the past two months, this has been a running ledger of my emotional and spiritual roller coaster. I'm glad to have expressed most of it and been able to be vulnerable and share my experience with you all.

So many changes have occurred and are happening all at once; I'll keep you updated as they unfold. Until next time...