Why I Became a Doula: Two Births Changed Everything for Me

There’s a saying that’s always stayed with me: “What you don’t know, you don’t know.”

And honestly… that was me.

Before becoming a doula, I had the blessing of witnessing the births of my godchildren. Experiences I’ll forever hold close to my heart. But I’d be lying if I said those moments didn’t also shake me. They opened my eyes in ways I wasn’t prepared for — and ultimately changed the direction of my life.

The First Birth: Fast, Routine… and Unquestioned

My first experience was with my best friend. Everything happened so quickly. It felt routine — like we were just moving through a system that had already decided how things would go.

There wasn’t much conversation.No real advocacy.Just a lot of, “Okay, you need to do this now.”

And on our end? We went along with it… because we didn’t know we had a choice.

Intervention after intervention followed.

I didn’t know you could decline certain things.I didn’t know about breathing techniques or how powerful they could be.I didn’t know about changing positions, or how movement could support labor.I didn’t know what it meant to surrender and work with contractions instead of fighting against them.

And eventually, it ended in a C-section.

Watching my friend go through a long, painful recovery… it stayed with me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing — that there had to be another way to support women through this.

The Second Birth: The Moment Everything Shifted

The second birth is what truly put my mind in motion.

This time, my friend was pregnant with twins 🤍

I remember her saying she felt fluid leaking, but she wanted to eat one last meal before heading to the hospital. Something in me knew… we needed to go. And we did — just in time.

Baby A had very low amniotic fluid.

From that moment, everything moved quickly. Understandably so — there was urgency. But what stood out to me wasn’t just the speed… it was the lack of conversation.

We were in the room, mostly just waiting. Not much movement. Not much guidance. And before we knew it, everything shifted toward an epidural and C-section.

There wasn’t a discussion about options.No conversation about what she wanted.No exploration of possibilities — even with something like a VBAC or other approaches.

And while I understood the medical concern… I couldn’t help but feel like she deserved more. More explanation. More involvement. More voice in her own birth.

What Happened After Broke My Heart

But what impacted me just as deeply — if not more — was what happened after.

Watching the way my godbabies were handled… I was in tears. I had never seen such a rough, rushed approach with newborns before. It didn’t feel gentle. It didn’t feel sacred.

And my friend?

She was treated like just another patient coming through. Like this wasn’t one of the most life-changing moments of her life.

There was a lack of care.A lack of softness.A lack of presence.

And it didn’t sit right with me.

The Moment I Knew

That was the moment something shifted in me.

I knew I wanted to be a voice.I knew I wanted to be a support.I knew I wanted to advocate — especially for moms who look like me, who often go unheard in spaces where they deserve to feel the most protected.

So I started researching… and that’s when I came across a word I had never even heard before:

Doula.

Stepping Into My Purpose

I signed up for my first workshop.

And not long after, I supported my first birth as a doula — a VBAC.

When I tell you it was one of the most beautiful, powerful experiences… I mean that with my whole heart.

To witness a woman feel supported, informed, and empowered while bringing life into this world… there are no words for it. Truly.

It confirmed everything for me.

Why This Matters So Much to Me

A woman will always remember:

• How she felt during her birth

• How she was treated

• And how she recovered afterward

Birth doesn’t just create a baby — it transforms a woman.

And every woman deserves to feel:

• Safe

• Heard

• Respected

• Supported

That’s why I do this.

That’s why I became a doula.

Because no woman should walk through one of the most vulnerable moments of her life feeling alone, unheard, or unsure of her choices.

And if I can be even a small part of changing that experience for someone… that means everything 🤍

If you’re a mom wanting to learn more, connect, or simply follow along on this journey with me, you can find me on Instagram at @being_essentially_you and on my website at Being Essentially You. I would love to have you there 🤍